So guys, this post is very personal to me. Very raw. I have a lot of emotions about this and it’s something that several men and women deal with every day. I think this post is something I feel I need to write because it weighs on my heart and ties into my fitness journey a bit.
This post can also tie to men as well but I will speak to the ladies out there because that is the only perspective I know.
Ladies, have you ever felt remotely disappointed in someone coming to you and telling you how hot you are or how perfect you are because it seems that that person only sees your skin? I mean let’s be honest, everyone see’s the skin first and decides if that person is attractive to them. That’s a natural human reaction. However, when someone walks up to you and says “Wow, your body is amazing, you’re so hot.” another natural reaction, is a fleeting moment of pride. But for me it turns into sadness. This is because I want to be seen for my heart. I have a big heart that has been let down more times than I can count. I am careful about who I give my heart to in friendships, significant others, and anyone who walks into my life.
I want to be seen for my heart because looks go away. Beauty and fitness levels go down. However, the heart and soul of a person is a beautiful mess that sticks to someone with deeper levels than the skin. The ocean is a good metaphor in this situation. The ocean is deep, with many levels. Creatures live in the different depths of the ocean. This is similar to the human heart and soul. Creatures live in each level of that heart and soul. Although, to see those parts of a person is like pealing back an onion, you have to get through the pain of that stinging in your eyes to be able to cook it into the meal you are making.
The disappointment I feel when men come to me to say such things might be dramatic for some people to hear me speak in this way. But I can tell you it has brought me down in several situations. Part of this is because I have a deep respect for myself and for others. I have worked for every gain in my muscles and I do not ever take that lightly. I can be hard on myself and criticize everything about my body. Which I have found to be very destructive to myself. It can be difficult to hear a man say how hot you are and how much they want to see you body when you know that is not your top asset. You wish the thing they were seeing was the ocean inside of you. And being asked to see your body is a level of disrespect and disregard to how that woman might react to that request.
The amount of pressure in our generation and society tears us as humans apart in several ways. In a relationship, women throw everything at a man who simply doesn’t appreciate the woman in the way they had been created to be appreciated. Now men this goes for you all as well. Men can be seen for their bodies and not their heart as they wish it could be. It’s an all around the world problem. We are all visual creatures. However, the normality of asking to see something so private when you have very little information of people asking, is unfathomable. I think its hard now a days because trust is hard to come by.
In many ways this connects to my fitness journey/love. One reason being that Mei Fitness has dwindled several anxious thoughts while I’m there. The focus I speak about while in the southport location of Mei is very important to me. Those day
s when I’m thrown off guard by a comment of some sorts I am able to go in and zone out the world around me and lift the weights while music blasting. I can cut out the negative thoughts that had clouded my mind and blow into my workout without being distracted. The negative thoughts drip away in the sweat that comes off my brow with each weight I lift. It’s a relief of all things, never a chore.
Ladies you were never made to “fall in line”. You are precious and worth more than life. I tell you my struggles because it’s something I’ve had to deal with and know there are several more out there that might feel the same. I am deeper than skin and I have an ocean inside of me that I know will be seen by someone special.