How Deep Does Your Ocean Go?

So guys, this post is very personal to me. Very raw. I have a lot of emotions about this and it’s something that several men and women deal with every day. I think this post is something I feel I need to write because it weighs on my heart and ties into my fitness journey a bit.

This post can also tie to men as well but I will speak to the ladies out there because that is the only perspective I know.

Ladies, have you ever felt remotely disappointed in someone coming to you and telling you how hot you are or how perfect you are because it seems that that person only sees your skin? I mean let’s be honest, everyone see’s the skin first and decides if that person is attractive to them. That’s a natural human reaction. However, when someone walks up to you and says “Wow, your body is amazing, you’re so hot.” another natural reaction, is a fleeting moment of pride. But for me it turns into sadness. This is because I want to be seen for my heart. I have a big heart that has been let down more times than I can count. I am careful about who I give my heart to in friendships, significant others, and anyone who walks into my life.

I want to be seen for my heart because looks go away. Beauty and fitness levels go down. However, the heart and soul of a person is a beautiful mess that sticks to someone with deeper levels than the skin. The ocean is a good metaphor in this situation. The ocean is deep, with many levels. Creatures live in the different depths of the ocean. This is similar to the human heart and soul. Creatures live in each level of that heart and soul. Although, to see those parts of a person is like pealing back an onion, you have to get through the pain of that stinging in your eyes to be able to cook it into the meal you are making.

The disappointment I feel when men come to me to say such things might be dramatic for some people to hear me speak in this way. But I can tell you it has brought me down in several situations. Part of this is because I have a deep respect for myself and for others. I have worked for every gain in my muscles and I do not ever take that lightly. I can be hard on myself and criticize everything about my body. Which I have found to be very destructive to myself. It can be difficult to hear a man say how hot you are and how much they want to see you body when you know that is not your top asset. You wish the thing they were seeing was the ocean inside of you. And being asked to see your body is a level of disrespect and disregard to how that woman might react to that request.

The amount of pressure in our generation and society tears us as humans apart in several ways. In a relationship, women throw everything at a man who simply doesn’t appreciate the woman in the way they had been created to be appreciated. Now men this goes for you all as well. Men can be seen for their bodies and not their heart as they wish it could be. It’s an all around the world problem. We are all visual creatures. However, the normality of asking to see something so private when you have very little information of people asking, is unfathomable. I think its hard now a days because trust is hard to come by.

In many ways this connects to my fitness journey/love. One reason being that Mei Fitness has dwindled several anxious thoughts while I’m there. The focus I speak about while in the southport location of Mei is very important to me. Those day
s when I’m thrown off guard by a comment of some sorts I am able to go in and zone out the world around me and lift the weights while music blasting. I can cut out the negative thoughts that had clouded my mind and blow into my workout without being distracted. The negative thoughts drip away in the sweat that comes off my brow with each weight I lift. It’s a relief of all things, never a chore.

Ladies you were never made to “fall in line”. You are precious and worth more than life. I tell you my struggles because it’s something I’ve had to deal with and know there are several more out there that might feel the same. I am deeper than skin and I have an ocean inside of me that I know will be seen by someone special.

 

 

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Feel The Burn Shoulder Workout!

Post Shoulder Pump

Hey guys! I know its a Monday, and Monday is my designated leg day so save this one for Tuesday and go check out my last post on Booty Gains! In all seriousness though, this workout destroyed my shoulders! I mean demolished. Keep in mind these workouts are what I personally do, so please be careful! I went on the heavier side with the weight to build muscle, with lower reps.  The necessities for this workout include dumbbells, pre-weighted barbells, and the ground (ha).

  • 50 warmup pushups
  • 4×10-8-6-4 dumbbell shoulder press (increase weight as reps drop)
  • 4×8 dumbbell side raises 
  • 4×8 dumbbell front raise
  • 3×10 Arnold press dropset pre-weighted barbell front raises until failure 
  • 4×12 cable Lat push downs superset 4×15 lat pull downs (not super heavy but challenging enough to burn but not terrible for a small cool down)

I hope y’all enjoy this workout! I definitely did!

 

Booty Gains

Okay ladies, this ones for y’all. Guys, I guess you can try it too but don’t blame me if ya get some weird looks!(ha) In this workout I really pushed hard and heavy. I have some of my top favorite booty gain workouts in here. These are workouts are what I personally do, so please be careful! This workout is on the longer side. I think it took me an hour and a half to complete.

  • 15-20 minute warmup: I like to walk on an incline at 15% at 3mp
  •  Glute activation exercises (with or without resistance bands). 2×20 squats, 2×20 glute bridges, 20 monster walks (I like to do these before my workout so my glutes are forced to wake up and work)
  • Rope cable pull throughs: 4×15-12-12-12
  • Plate good morning alt. Squats, with a 25lb plate: 4×10
  • Sumo squats with dumbbell: 4×7 regular, 7 half from bottom, 7 half from top
  • Heavy Bar Squats: 4×6,6,5,5
  • Lying leg press: 5×10 with different stances (wide, close, normal, feet set at the top, feet set closer to the bottom)
  • Superset 4×8 leg curls with 4×8(each leg) glute press

I hope y’all enjoy this booty burning workout! I was crazy sore the next day! Have fun!

IMG_9495
Post workout pic. Dang near broke my back.

 

 

The Journey to Creating Something Bigger than Just a Name.

I used to believe I only wanted a big butt, a flat stomach, and to be better than those around me. Which is true, for the most part. What I’ve found is that, what I truly want is to be better than my old self, to inspire my followers and the people I speak to on the streets. Most importantly, I want to build other women up to show them that they are absolutely stunning in everything they are. I don’t want to compete with the women around me when I already compete with myself. With that said let me explain the name of this blog page, Wolfness.

I came up with it six months ago, after playing around with the idea of building my own personal brand. I had struggled to think of a name for what I had been dreaming to do and once Wolfness came into my mind nothing else spoke to my soul the way it does. The name itself stands for “she-wolf”. Which really is the biggest component to Wolfness but theres more.

There had been an incident that changed my whole way of thinking as I knew it, and put meaning into my dreams. For years I watched women deliberately shame other women, and I was never strong enough to stand up to these bullies. Yes, “bully” is the term I use, which sounds a lot like the typical school bully. But that’s exactly what I’m talking about people! Bullies exist throughout every stage of life.

This life altering incident started on one of the most used social media platforms, Twitter. There was a mean girl, who made a disturbing comment about what women should and shouldn’t post. Her comment was posted deliberately after my best friend had uploaded a cute bikini pic with her puppers by the pool! Sounds cute, right? That was until she had seen the comment posted making it seem as if her uploaded picture was “to slutty”. 

All of us ladies have a radar. You know the one that sends a chill down your spine indicating that something shady is pointing at you? Well this was that feeling for my friend. She confronted the mean girl, asking if there was a problem. To which her response was snarky and defensive, claiming the tweet hadn’t been about my friend.

The story continues on instagram (we all know what this is)… Long story short, the mean girl got information from a private account and blew it into a petty whirl. It ended with my best friends instagram pages going up on the bullies personal account with mean and nasty words in her caption. All in spite of her own insecurities. Let me tell you, this didn’t sit well with me as a best friend. I mean come on, I was already been fed up with all the hate I’d witnessed between women.

I had commented about the stupidity of the drama she had caused and how judgement only hurts oneself. Whether the tweet had been about my best friend or not, it pointed out her own unfriendliness and insecurities. It wasn’t necessary due the the simple fact that what another woman puts on her social media is none of your business. If you don’t like something, scroll past it and/or unfollow that person. You have that freedom! If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all. A saying we have learned from the very beginning. With todays society, I have never found something to be more true. Well, maybe a few more things but in this instance I couldn’t have found a more genuine phrase. Life’s to short to be anything but kind.

You see, us women need to stick together. The slut shaming, using derogatory terms such as ugly, fat, unworthy, and disgusting, along with all the other shit (sorry not sorry) we women put on each other, is so damaging to the victims mental well-being. Seeing first hand how the cruelty between women destroys confidence and causes doubt, is where the idea of Wolfness came about. (turning into Dr. Sues y’all)

When I think of a wolf, I think loyal, strong, beautiful, intelligent, caring, personal power, and instinct. This is how us women should be with one another. We should have a pack mentality, like wolves. Be there for each other and protect each other. We should shower love onto one another in a world that is already so cruel. Having the backs of the women around you and putting positivity into their lives with the extraordinary tools we have in todays society, helps unite women as a whole. Look at the other women all around the world and think of them as your pack.

I’ll close this with my favorite quote by Nikita Gill, “If all girls were taught to love each other fiercely instead of how to compete with each other and hate their own bodies, what a different and beautiful world we would live in.” I challenge all of you ladies out there reading this to be a wolf!